So. uh...I don't know why I'm writing this, I just got done fighting with ian. He said he'd call me back in thirty minutes; I can wait.
I'm gonna go run and do butt lifts.
I wonder if I should talk about my exercise purges.
I guess I could vent. Not like it matters.
Hi.
I'm Natalie.
I count my calories religiously.
I make thin a skill.
I've gone up and down...gained four pounds. lost 12. gained two...etc Made for a net change of 9 lbs.
This is the beginning, sweetheart.
I exercise every night. Maybe a little too much. I've nearly lost my kidney for this. I can outrun cars if I tried. I perfect the 'four pack'. I can see the light through my thighs.
I throw up if I need to. Not like it's necessary, not like it's addicting, not like I actually care about it. Cause...seriously...there's easier ways. It's an easy way to white-out mistakes, right? I don't know why people would consider bulimia seriously. What's glamorous about it? You're drooling, crying, snotting all over yourself. And then you puke, maybe.
I find my support through a red-bracelet and people who are pro-mylifestyle.
Maybe I'll go call ian back. Apologize or something.
(may I add that we've spent over a damn year together?)
